Judgement vs Connection
Have you ever experienced the feeling of being judged or pigeonholed? What is the culture in your team, department, or company? Does critical judgement dominate, or are connection and acceptance felt by your team members regularly?
5 things to know about your judgements:
“The judgements you make are not your fault, however you have the responsibility to work with them.” Judgement/self-judgement is an automatic habit of our mind. This means that our mind automatically tags experiences, interactions, and the people around us as good or bad, right or wrong, etc.
“They are not the truth, but just a useless secretion of our conditioned mind”. They are coming in the form of thoughts and they feel like they are real, so we have a tendency to believe them.
“Judgement loves the state of autopilot and hates self-awareness and presence”. We might judge others unconsciously without realizing it and even telling a word. This is connected with things such as body language, facial expression, or somebody’s voice.
“Leaders set the scene”. Leaders are decisive in creating either a culture of distrust, critical judgement, fear, and resignation or a culture of connection, development, and growth.
“Leaders are very vulnerable to judgements”. Feeling the pressure of being responsible for results and having a full agenda, as well as having a “save the world” mindset that pairs itself with constant multitasking, leaders are often on “autopilot”. This easily triggers a leader’s ego, which almost automatically brings judgement, both to themselves and the people and situations around them.
5 possible consequences for “Leaders who judge”
Judgement creates barriers between people and teams.
Energy wise, judgement is very expensive – either by creating a culture of fear, or chronic stress (mostly both).
People are ill more often and almost never have fun during their working hours.
Long term judgement leads to dysfunctional teams which perform poorly and exist in a toxic culture.Judgement kills passion, ambitions, engagement, and development.
The best people then leave the company and find somewhere where they are appreciated.
So, what can be done?
Invest time into your development and start with your self-awareness first. What are my beliefs and limitations?If you have already known them, start observing them in your daily life. You can start by labeling them as they appear in your mind, bringing you back to the present moment and allowing you to act within your value structure.
Start to work with your inner critic and self-judgements. If you can learn to get this under control and break their pattern, you will become much better in seeing it in others and more skillful in accepting and helping others.
Take time and do not get discouraged. Creating new programming in your mind takes time and consistent effort.Mindfulness training is the cheapest, simplest and most effective way to work with judgements.
Try on a new mindset, which might be in contradiction to your old one – expect goodness in people by default.
Do not surround yourself solely with the people you like and harmonize with, but make sure you have people in your inner circle who share the same values as you and are complementary to you. No yes-men but people who tell you the truth and let you grow.
Be aware of judging the judgements (both of yourself and others).
“Future ready Leader” development program.